Getting all judge-y
אַל־תֹּאמַ֣ר בִּלְבָבְךָ֗ בַּהֲדֹ֣ף יְהֹוָה֩ אֱלֹהֶ֨יךָ אֹתָ֥ם ׀ מִלְּפָנֶ֘יךָ֮ לֵאמֹר֒ בְּצִדְקָתִי֙ הֱבִיאַ֣נִי ה’ לָרֶ֖שֶׁת אֶת־הָאָ֣רֶץ הַזֹּ֑את
And when your God ‘ה has thrust them from your path, say not to yourselves, “יהוה has enabled us to possess this land because of our virtues”. (Devarim 9.4)
This week is the second of Seven Weeks of Consolation, during which we are meant to focus upon self-improvement in the most important ways: how we get along.
The first step in any teshuvah, any act of return and repair, is to identify the mistake. In order to do this we must bring our best judgement to bear upon our actions. But, since our perceptual abilities are constrained by so many factors (mood, hearing, attention span, biases, and so much more), how do we know if we are judging our actions accurately?
Our Western society encourages us to turn away from judgment with stock phrases like “it’s not up to me to judge” and the quote “judge not lest you be judged.” But that quote comes from someone else’s Bible – Matthew 7.1 – and it’s usually misquoted, anyway. The Jewish ethic is found more correctly here:
לֹֽא־תִשְׂנָ֥א אֶת־אָחִ֖יךָ בִּלְבָבֶ֑ךָ הוֹכֵ֤חַ תּוֹכִ֙יחַ֙ אֶת־עֲמִיתֶ֔ךָ וְלֹא־תִשָּׂ֥א עָלָ֖יו חֵֽטְא
You shall not hate your kinsfolk in your heart. Reprove your kin but incur no guilt on their account. (VaYikra 19.17)
We are called upon to keep each other in line – the line of the way of Jewish ethics, and to do so with care for each other. We are to be our “brother’s keeper”, to go even further back, to the original sin of humanity as Judaism sees it: not sharing fruit in a garden, but in ending a life and lying about one’s guilt.
Some of our ancestors, and some of our people at this time, argue that the land of Israel is given incontrovertibly to the Jewish people (even the lyrics of the old film “Exodus” make the claim). But our parashat hashavua clearly speaks against this idea.
וְהָיָ֗ה אִם־שָׁכֹ֤חַ תִּשְׁכַּח֙ אֶת־ה’ אֱלֹהֶ֔יךָ וְהָֽלַכְתָּ֗ אַחֲרֵי֙ אֱלֹהִ֣ים אֲחֵרִ֔ים וַעֲבַדְתָּ֖ם וְהִשְׁתַּחֲוִ֣יתָ לָהֶ֑ם הַעִדֹ֤תִי בָכֶם֙ הַיּ֔וֹם כִּ֥י אָבֹ֖ד תֹּאבֵדֽוּן׃
If you do forget your God ‘ה and follow other gods to serve them or bow down to them, I warn you this day that you shall certainly perish (Devarim 8.19)
The Torah indicates that believing that the land is ours beyond any other claim, that any behavior toward others is justified because of some sacred right, is an act of serving “other gods”, not HaShem: gods of fear and anger and trauma, gods of greed and the madness of power.
If we are to judge ourselves and our acts, what will help up see beyond our own emotions – our own fears and hopes and needs – so that we can see ourselves accurately, and so judge correctly?
The cost of judging ones’s acts incorrectly is merely that no progress toward becoming a happier, more complete human being is possible. This is why our ethical tradition advises that we seek out someone we respect to help us see past our own natural blind spots – a mentor, a teacher – someone who will be (hopefully gently) honest.
Rather than be sure of your judgment of your relationship with another person, consider what might be if you are mistaken. And if you find that you are, may that moment of spiritual growth and promise bring you strength to see more clearly your ability to rise up, at any moment, to follow the path of becoming who, and what, you are meant to be.
Torah for the 21st Century by Rabbi Ariel Stone 