Shabbat Terumah: The Gift of Kindness

אֵין צְדָקָה מִשְׁתַּלֶּמֶת אֶלָּא לְפִי חֶסֶד שֶׁבָּהּ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: ״זִרְעוּ לָכֶם לִצְדָקָה וְקִצְרוּ לְפִי חֶסֶד״

The extent to which the tzedakah you do takes root depends entirely upon the extent of the kindness in it, for it is said, “Sow to yourselves according to tzedakah, but reap according to the kindness.” – BT Sukkah 49b

This Shabbat we mark the beginning of the month of Adar, that month when we are taught 

מִשֶּׁנִּכְנַס אֲדָר מַרְבִּין בְּשִׂמְחָה mi shenikhnas Adar, marbim b’simkha, “when the month of Adar begins, one increases rejoicing.” (BT Ta’anit 29b) To be told to be happy may strike you as absurd given the reality of our days right now in the United States, but consider Jewish tradition: there is nothing more powerful than joy. It dispels despair, even if only for a moment. Think of the hallowed stories of our people dancing and singing in the face of death. If Jews rounded up in a field outside Lublin by Nazis could sing defiance in those moments, what can we learn from that courage? (Read the full story HERE.) 

Like anything else in life, it cannot be anticipated: this is the courage you didn’t know you were ever going to need. No one rehearses for a moment like that. So the lesson is not that we can practice our way to joy. One cannot control emotions, much less summon them at will. That’s not how we humans are.

So what can we do, when challenged by the question of how to “be happy, because it’s Adar”? One truth seems well-founded: you will not become happy by working at becoming happy. When we become preoccupied with our own happiness, it becomes, if anything, more elusive. Instead, why not help each other feel joy? If we all do it, then no one will be left out. The question is how? 

Our parashat hashavua this week is named terumah, “gift” or “donation.” It’s worth noting that two of the four mitvot associated with Purim are about making other people happy through giving them something (matanot l’evyonim, to those in need, and gifts to friends just because). Jewish ethics holds that gifts given grudgingly are still better than not given at all, but that the best gift is one that is given in kindness, as explained in this Talmudic source:

תָּנוּ רַבָּנַן: בִּשְׁלֹשָׁה דְּבָרִים גְּדוֹלָה גְּמִילוּת חֲסָדִים יוֹתֵר מִן הַצְּדָקָה. צְדָקָה — בְּמָמוֹנוֹ; גְּמִילוּת חֲסָדִים — בֵּין בְּגוּפוֹ, בֵּין בְּמָמוֹנוֹ. צְדָקָה — לָעֲנִיִּים; גְּמִילוּת חֲסָדִים — בֵּין לָעֲנִיִּים בֵּין לָעֲשִׁירִים. צְדָקָה — לַחַיִּים; גְּמִילוּת חֲסָדִים — בֵּין לַחַיִּים בֵּין לַמֵּתִים

Our rabbis taught: In three respects gemilut hasadim is superior to tzedakah: tzedakah can be done only with one’s money, but gemilut hasadim can be done with one’s person and one’s money. Tzedakah can be given only to the poor, but gemilut hasadim both to the rich and the poor. Tzedakah can be given to the living only, gemilut hasadim can be done both to the living and to the dead (BT Sukkah 49b)

Rabbi Elazar follows up in the next paragraph:

 אֵין צְדָקָה מִשְׁתַּלֶּמֶת אֶלָּא לְפִי חֶסֶד שֶׁבָּהּ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: ״זִרְעוּ לָכֶם לִצְדָקָה וְקִצְרוּ לְפִי חֶסֶד״

The extent to which the tzedakah you do takes root depends entirely upon the extent of the kindness in it, for it is said, “Sow to yourselves according to tzedakah, but reap according to the kindness.” – BT Sukkah 49b

Commenting hundreds of years later, the great Rabbi Shlomo Yitzhaki (better known as Rashi, the famous acronym of his title and name) sharpens the point :

“Only according to the hesed in it” — The giving is the tzedakah and the effort [of giving] is the hesed. For instance, delivering it to the other’s house, or making an effort to ensure that it will be worth more to the recipient, such as giving baked bread; or clothes to wear; or coins when produce is readily available so the latter will not waste the money; that is, a person applies their heart and mind to the benefit of the [other] person. 

It may seem that getting caught up in just how to be kind to one other person in your community is not going to do much to save the world, but in truth, it is all that is within our power. If in so doing you are able to bring a little bit of joy to someone who knows they are not forgotten, that they are cared about, that mitzvah will do more than all the worry and planning in the world to lighten your own heart for a moment. You cannot save the world; but you can, maybe, for a moment, lighten someone else’s burden, and in so doing relieve your own. Be happy; it’s Adar.